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Nuttin’ To Do But Think
Granny’s writing this on the fifth straight day of being iced and snowed in
with 4 little chillin’, 1 small house dog and 2 big outside dogs. “But,
Grandma! It’s too cold for them outside!! Do you want ‘em to freeze solid?”
Granny gave in. (That’s the way she usually handles whining.)
Now, Granny is all for Family Time and Fun At Home…..but enough is
enough!!!! Especially since these 8 living things are cooped up in three
little rooms! Granny’s last nerve is raw and bruised and bleeding. Cabin
Fever is the understatement of the new year. Bonkers Bigtime is a better
description of Granny’s frame of mind. So to escape, when it was impossible
to really escape, she fell into bed, and pulled the covers over her head.
She began to think of some of the Holiday highlights.
The first one that came to mind was: When getting together a little gift for
a friend, Granny had put tissue paper into a pretty little tin box. Then she
carefully put in two little scented soaps carved into roses, a few hard
candies and one of her new business cards. “Humm….I should put a little note
in it. Let’s see, what can I say?….” she mused out loud. Over-hearing,
Michael said, “How about this…..’Eat, take a shower, and call me.’”
Granny started snorting and chuckling as she remembered it. Nichol said,
“Hey guys….look at the blankets on Grandma going up and down. She sounds
kinda funny too…..do you think she’s O.K.?”
“Yeah, she’s just cracking up like she always does. ….
Course, she might be going into that terminal depression she talks
about….Nah….probably not. We haven’t even been fighting that much today.”
Then Granny remembered spending a day over the holidays with a dear friend,
whose eyesight is failing. They were heading up some snowy steps in front of
a house and since they are both elderly and fearful of falling, Granny took
his arm and they maneuvered each step together with much care. “This is like
the blind leading the blind,” Granny observed. “No,” he said, “It’s the
decrepit leading the disabled.”
Yep, he had that right, thought Granny, laughing out loud. “There she goes
again,” said Nichol, who had taken upon herself the official role of Granny
Watcher. “Awww, she’s O.K.” one of the others mumbled. Then Granny thought
about how tired she was on those all-nighters when she was ‘helping Santa’.
She was so sleep-deprived, she really shouldn’t have been driving. She was
in a pre-holiday fog, mentally.
She accidentally grabbed the ‘tooth glue’ (dental adhesive) out of the big
pocket of her jumper, instead of the ‘nose spray’ and squirted it into her
left nostril. She knew something was wrong, it didn’t feel right. She looked
into the mirror on the sun-visor and saw the pink stuff clogging up her nose
on the left. Now she really couldn’t breathe. But she didn’t panic.
No-sir-re-bob. All it took was blowing into a McDonald’s napkin for twenty
miles to clear up the problem. And she didn’t go off the road even once. She
only weaved around a little every time she checked out the situation in the
mirror. She just got a few fist shakings from other motorists along the way.
“Ahh yes,” she sighed out loud, “That’s the way it was alright.” The
covers suddenly were ripped off her head. “That’s the way what was, Gram?”
Nichol demanded.
“Oh, nuttin’, Baby,” she answered, squinting in the
light.
“Granny was just thinking….”
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