|
O.K. You have your American Singles, Christian Café, Love is for Me, iMatch,
Single Me, and a few hundred other singles’ sites. After filling out your
profile, you start searching for your soul mate; in my case, for a
grandpa-type guy who is lonesome and searching for his soul mate too.
But I discover the old geezers are usually looking for a chick at least 30
years younger. Also, I notice the guys, a lot of them, are around 5’ 8” and
over 250 lbs., yet they insist on a slim, attractive girl, a snappy dresser
and an excellent cook. A bonus would be to enjoy morning rides on their
Harleys. Ho hum.
One guy, age 72, entitles his profile: ‘Scholar, Musician, Jock’. It turns
out he came close to graduating high school, played the violin when he was
12 and has been dateless for the past 30 years. But the other day, it
finally came, a message from my prince charming. He wrote: ‘Wonderful lady,
you are my dream. I’m a handsome, romantic Italian, living in Paris, France.
Twice each month I’m in Indianapolis for my work.
I love mature women and I want to meet you as soon as possible. I yearn for
romance. I will treat you like a queen. I want to be your slave. Here’s a
kiss. Roberto.’ “Hot diggity dog!” I exclaim out loud. My heart pounds and
my hand trembles on the mouse as I click on his profile.
I read on and it gets even better: ‘Muscular, 6’ 3”, into fitness,
financially secure. Love children, dancing, music, intimate conversations,
dining in fine restaurants. Lonesome and looking for soul mate.’ “This is
it!” I tell myself, “and Indianapolis is only 3 hours up the road.” I’m
happy, excited and breathing hard.
But, then I see it: ‘Age 42.’ Man! He’s 26 years younger than I am. Rats!
Double rats! I write him back: ‘Dude, I have three kids older than you! But
thanks. It was fun while it lasted.’
I begin to wonder why I’m not getting more action, a ton of messages? Hummm.
Maybe there’s something in my profile that’s turning them off. I better
review it: ‘Lonely, looking for soul mate. Caucasian widow, diabetic,
pushing 70, over 300 lbs., strict Traditional Roman Catholic, financially
insecure, rearing four biracial grandchildren, ages 7 to 15. Honest to a
fault.’ “Nah,” I tell myself, “nothing wrong there.” Hummm.
Well, maybe tomorrow my knight in shining armor will come racing into my
life, sweep me off my feet and carry me away to his castle. After all, he
might be just a click away!
( Hope blooms eternal.)
|